Thursday, January 5, 2012

You gotta read this!

Ms.Bee was thumbing through Craigslist today, searching for that all perfect part time job because as you know, Ms.Bee told her boss to shove it right before Christmas - when she came upon an ad for a House Hold Assistant - now before you laugh and say "Oh I don't want to read that boring stuff" - Trust me - read it - it's a howl and a half - made me laugh out loud - and I was so amused by it that I actually responded to the "young single retired entrepreneur father" and asked him if he was high!  Then preceded to tell him his ad was actually comical!

By the way - don't you love the "Lifestyle assistant" description? I could not make this shit up if I tried!

I think the guy should probably adjust the job description to "MOMMY"  The other thing I am wondering about is the pay - it says 15-20K/hr - IF this job pays 15 to 20 K an hour I'm applying!

Household Assistant (Concord, MA)

Errors when replying to ads?]

Household and Lifestyle Assistant

Estimated time: 20-25 hours/week

We would love to make the house a home, eat healthy meals, and dress well. We would love someone to help us when we're sick. We would love to have someone who can help us make this happen.
We are natural minded family consisting of two very young children and a young single retired entrepreneur father. Though we spend a lot of time together the children sleep at their mother's, which is close by. We are pretty simple and fun. We have a 300 year old colonial house that is about 2,500 square feet that we keep clean. We eat healthy and vegetarian. We have two golden retrievers. While we could hire many people to do each of these following separates tasks, we do not want the responsibility of coordinating multiple people. We are pretty liberal when it comes to spending.

You will do well if you have a strong desire to serve and care for others, and also have a lot of fun with the aesthetic side of life such as fashion, decorating, and cooking.

Household Maintenance
You must take care of the home and maintain it at the highest level. This is from the big picture touches that make the house a home to the details of day to day pick up and cleaning. We would like the house to be decorated so that it is very comfortable and has a natural and open feel. This includes choosing furniture, paint colors, window treatments, photos, and other home touches. We would like the house kept thoroughly clean, from the radiators, to under the furniture, and to the windows. We would like the house always picked up and neat. Since we do not use most of the rooms, this should be relatively easy, probably including a pickup once in the morning such as making the bed and emptying the dishwasher, and in the evening after the kids have left.

We also want someone who can be proactive about pruning unused items in the house and organizing. We like to live simply and this often means getting rid of things and simplifying.

Estimated time: 7 hours/week

Do you enjoy cooking? We are a vegetarian low-fat household and a key to living this way is having great food. We would like a snack plate of fresh fruits and vegetables in the morning at around 10:00 AM, lunch at noon, another snack plate in the afternoon around 2:00 PM, and dinner. Preparing things in advance would be okay as long as they are easily served. For example, snacks might be prepared the day before and left in the refrigerator. We would like a menu prepared for the week on the Friday preceding. We have plenty of great recipes; we just need you to select them and prepare them.
We love surprises and special treats.
Estimated Time: 7 hours/week

Are you good with fashion? We would like someone who has a strong sense of style and cares about appearance. For the children this includes making sure they always have the clothes they need such as shoes, hats, scarves, and coats. The children should look good and fashionable for their age, including hair and nail care. For the father the same things generally apply and we would like to make sure he is always very nicely dressed, the clothes are stylish, and appropriate for a single retired entrepreneur.
In addition to appearance, we also want someone who knows how to have fun and can discovering fun social activities for the children and/or the father. We especially want to find activities that help everyone socialize.
Estimated Time: 1 hour/week

Sick Care
We also would like someone who can provide caring support when any of us is sick. We want you to proactive and think of things like special meals.

  • Location: Concord, MA
  • Compensation: 15-20K/hr
  • This is a part-time job.
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.