Saturday, October 29, 2011

This is a CRUEL JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I will tell you I am in the 6-10 area - this SUCKS!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Daytime TV is like watching ice melt

So Ms.Bee OB-viously is not sitting around on Fridays (her day off) watching daytime TV - but today because she doesn't feel well and her little guy has a 1/2 day - she swapped her day off and is working Friday this week. 

Ms.Bee would like to take a moment to tell you what the big 3 networks are playing at the moment:

CBS - Let's Make a Deal
ABC - Nate Berkus
NBC - Today Show

Is America stupid?  (yes I now the answer already)

Let's Make a Deal - lets start with this one - people get dressed up in costumes and try to win stupid prizes like "dinette sets" from Broyhill..........and sometimes they get a goat instead - DUH - DUH and DUH - bring back Monty Hall and then I might consider watching!  Wayne Brady does NOTHING for this show! 

Nate Berkus - Now actually I like Nate - he's not a bad buy - he's cute, definately has good taste, etc etc.....but the show........just doesn't get me excited you know?  How much decorating can you watch?  I don't know - maybe it's me!

Then we have the 15th hour of the Today Show!  Now Matt and dimwit Ann Curry have been on since 7:00AM - it's now 10:30AM - how much TODAY do we need?  How about TOMORROW - yeah - How about I make a TOMORROW show?  Get off my TV!  If I stay tuned long enough I'll get to see Kathie "make me barf " Lee and Hoda (who names their child Hoda?) - blither all over each other and drink wine.............I get all Lewis Black and want to smash the fricking TV when I see or hear Kathie Lee............the woman needs to go - HOME!

Then I have 9 BAzillion channels of cable with nothing on.............even Food Network has that stupid Sandra Lee on or repeats that are 5 years old! 

I think I'll go back to bed!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Hail to Dorothy - The Wicked Witch is dead!

Oh wait - this isn't the Wicked Witch is it?  Well, they look alot alike - FUGLY as hell - so what the hell - let's give it up for Dorothy!

In other Ms.Beehaven News................Ms.Bee has been told by her FBIL (the one that wants to build his own casket) - that she is getting old!  He says it's ok and that he has come to the realization that he is old and he doesn't care anymore - he has come to terms with the fact he can't do what he used to and he is ok with that!  Ms.Bee and he agree on this!  However, we have a hard time convincing the Man's Man about this, Mr.Manly still thinks he's 22 and plays hockey on Monday nights at un-GODLY hours - like 11:00PM!  Then the "Men" drink beer in the smelly locker room afterwards!  EW! 

Boy do we have some Yahoo's running for Prez this term huh?  How about that Cain?  And oh don't forget Rick Perry!  Or how about Michelle Bachman?  And nothing says Presidential like Vegas baby huh?  Oh yeah what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.............or not!

Cheers people - it's Thursday - my virtual Friday - and Ms.Bee is going to enjoy every single moment tomorrow!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Funerals, caskets and how I plan to go!

Yes you read that right!  The other day I was going back and forth with my FBIL (favorite brother inlaw) - as I have a couple and he is definitely the fav!  We were emailing and discussing another BIL's illness and the fact that we all have space in the family plot.  We've always sort of had a running joke that we'd be the last 2 standing and fight till the bitter end for the last remaining spot yadda yadda.  I also told my FBIL that if I go before he I wanted him to remind the Man's Man that I would prefer being cremated - AND I really do not want to be put out on display in a funeral home for all to wither and wather over - it's just plain odd to me.  I would much prefer I nice service somewhere in a chapel by the ocean or a park along the water - and I specifically told him I want a 3X3 picture of me smiling and laughing "to beat the band" - because that is how I prefer people remember me.   I said if I go first my ashes can be kept in a bucket somewhere until the time comes to bury me with the Man's Man - if he goes first - then I don't know because we can't open up the vault and put me in there right?  (Now you now this gets weird beyond weird right?)  In Massachusetts one's remains must be put in a cement vault..........and then put in the ground...........ew - it's just wrong for me - I can't be resting in the ground - I want to be scattered on top!

So then my FBIL goes on to tell me that in Florida where he lives he looked into a cemetery that lets you be buried in a pine box with no vault!  (he lives in the Redneck Riviera) And guess what else?  He had the DO-IT-YOURSELF plans to a pine box casket that was fold able so that it would take up less space until your time came!  Can I tell you that was 3 days ago and I'm still laughing!  Who the hell looks at do-it-yourself casket plans?  Well I will tell you who - my FBIL!  BUT..........after all that he decided to be cremated too!  See his plans below:  Seriously what a weirdo huh?  I was like hey, ho FBIL WTF!

So - I'm curious - do you have last wishes?  Do you care?  Would you like my FBIL to build you a fold able casket? :)

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Chew? And screw if you know what's good!

Ms. Bee was home with sickly Matt last Monday and had the un-pleasure of watching ABC's new show "The Chew" - First let me just say that it's downright appauling that they took Erica Kane off the air - I do not watch soaps - but I used to back in the day and Erica is the Queen of daytime TV - the fact that they replaced AMC with "The Chew" shows you that everyone at ABC daytime TV has their heads up their ASS!

If you haven't been LUCKY? enough to see this show tune in at 1:00PM Eastern or check your local guide - I assure you that you WILL be looking at these idiots with questions marks floating around your head! 

The other day Michael Simon had his sister cooking chicken cutlets and then had her purell her hands after handling the RAW chicken - EW EW EW EW - this is gross - wrong and disgusting!  EW EW EW!
And chicken cutlets - how awe inspiring is that?  Listen I love chicken cutlets - but that is kinda basic cooking isn't it?  I mean it's not rocket science - Or is it me?  Note to Michael - MUST WASH HANDS THOROUGHLY AFTER HANDLING RAW MEAT!  MUST TELL SISTER AS WELL!

And Clinton - oh good Lord - the man puts little signs up telling people where to throw their shrimp tails and dirty hand towels!  It must be a gay thing? Really?  I don't know about you - but I know that the shrimp tail goes in the trash and if I can't find it - I'll ask - I promise I don't put them in people's plants  - Here's a suggestion for Clinton - get some friends who have some class!  My friends would not put the shrimp tails in the plants (if I had some) unless they were really drunk!

Mario - cut the pony tail off and cut the shit with Gweneth - nobody can stand her anymore!  And you honestly are much better on Iron Chef - also - you look like a lost Brook Trout in the sea!  Haha - get it?

Carla - she seriously looks like a witch - I'm sorry - I don't mean to be unkind but the woman does nothing for TV  - she needs a makeover of some sort. 

Daphne - All I can say is 2 words - Dr. Oz...........well actually let me just say that she's cute - but she seriously only got this job because of her father!  I can tell!

In short this show isn't going to last long - in fact it should have been taken off the air the first week it was put on - it was chewed and spit out the first 5 minutes of air time!  Can you say Screw Chew?

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Sunday ramblings...........

Today is Sunday Oct 2, 2011 - On Friday Sept 30, 2011 Redsox Nation lost the man that brought them to 2 World Series since 1918 the other day. And if you can't count - it was 86 fricking years!

Tito you are a class act.  It is true Karma is a bitch - John Henry was injured on his "yacht" Friday night and had to be taken to the hospital - Ms.Bee thinks he had one too many after sending Tito packing and fell down - too bad he didn't fall overboard into Boston Harbor!

Friday, Ms. Bee transformed her yard from summer to fall - she pulled up all the summer plantings that were starting to yellow and replaced them will brillant fall colored mums, and pumpkins and gords and funky little things of different colors and shapes!  She feels better about the look of the yard now!

Yesterday was October 1st - The Man's Man and I celebrated 23 years of wedded bliss - we started dating in 1986 while I was a Junior in high school, he a senior...........I can tell you he is:

Ms.Bee has been busy with all things kids, and weddings, and fall cleaning etc...........she also thinks she has a senile dog on her hands.  Carson has started to bark at NOTHING and I do mean nothing - which leads me to believe old age is setting in!

Ms.Bee has discovered a new drink while she was away at her good friend Mary's wedding which took place here at the lovely Daniel Webster Inn in Sandwich MA on Sept 17th - trust me a good time was had by all - festivities started at 2:00Pm Friday and never stopped until Sunday!

Jeramiah Weed (sweet tea flavored vodka) and lemonade - yum yum - her new husband Ross has turned me into a Junkie - thanks Ross!  What a great time was had by all!  And so nice to see a couple SO in love!

To prove that we all had a good time here is our good friend Cheri pretending she is the Chiquita Banana lady and using the mantle flower arrangement as a prop for her head!

Yo Cheri - you look sexy lady!