Friday, October 14, 2011

Funerals, caskets and how I plan to go!

Yes you read that right!  The other day I was going back and forth with my FBIL (favorite brother inlaw) - as I have a couple and he is definitely the fav!  We were emailing and discussing another BIL's illness and the fact that we all have space in the family plot.  We've always sort of had a running joke that we'd be the last 2 standing and fight till the bitter end for the last remaining spot yadda yadda.  I also told my FBIL that if I go before he I wanted him to remind the Man's Man that I would prefer being cremated - AND I really do not want to be put out on display in a funeral home for all to wither and wather over - it's just plain odd to me.  I would much prefer I nice service somewhere in a chapel by the ocean or a park along the water - and I specifically told him I want a 3X3 picture of me smiling and laughing "to beat the band" - because that is how I prefer people remember me.   I said if I go first my ashes can be kept in a bucket somewhere until the time comes to bury me with the Man's Man - if he goes first - then I don't know because we can't open up the vault and put me in there right?  (Now you now this gets weird beyond weird right?)  In Massachusetts one's remains must be put in a cement vault..........and then put in the ground...........ew - it's just wrong for me - I can't be resting in the ground - I want to be scattered on top!

So then my FBIL goes on to tell me that in Florida where he lives he looked into a cemetery that lets you be buried in a pine box with no vault!  (he lives in the Redneck Riviera) And guess what else?  He had the DO-IT-YOURSELF plans to a pine box casket that was fold able so that it would take up less space until your time came!  Can I tell you that was 3 days ago and I'm still laughing!  Who the hell looks at do-it-yourself casket plans?  Well I will tell you who - my FBIL!  BUT..........after all that he decided to be cremated too!  See his plans below:  Seriously what a weirdo huh?  I was like hey, ho FBIL WTF!

So - I'm curious - do you have last wishes?  Do you care?  Would you like my FBIL to build you a fold able casket? :)


  1. My only preference is that I not be set out on display. If someone needs to take a last peek, that would be acceptable. But, I can't have people just standing around looking at what used to be me if I can't reciprocate.

  2. My mom wanted a pine casket so bad. She researched it online a couple of years ago and found the one she wanted. It was a beautiful hand crafted pine casket with a rambling rose bush painted on it. It's a company in New Mexico. So if your FBIL cannot actually make one, he can buy one online and they'll ship it to him. :)

    Having read much on funerary customs, none of this bothers me at all. Funerals are for the living. It is what gives them peace after we're gone. They can do whatever, as long as they put me where I want to be (still undecided).

  3. I love your plans Bee .... me too!! I want a gathering near the ocean, and all who take part to laugh and smile, and remember some of the dumbass things I have done over the years ... but most important ... laugh and love!!! I donated my body (that was where my mom took it too). No cost to the family except the cost of the death certificates. They use me to benefit the remaining mankind (like those who didn't give a crap about me while alive ... lol) cremate whats left and return it to the family. Hilly can do what she wants with me from there, but I have requested she take a nice long weekend at the beach and let me "blow." The cost of this final destination has, like everything else, become a money making process in which they take advantage of people at their most vulnerable state. Sad ... Party on cuz!!! :D

  4. I have told my kids that I always wanted to go to Harvard---and guess what, you do not have to take a test if you donate your body. A lot of Unitarians donate their bodies for research.
    I have arranged to be cremated for $225.00 when I decide to leave this world for the next. As a former smoker, I think it is a fitting end to go up in smoke. Of course I jest.
    As for my ashes, I tell my kids, I want to be put in the Ocean because I always wanted to travel and this will take me all around the world.
    My Dad loved to read Gravestones and his favorite was on a little babies stone that read "If I'm so quickly done for, What the heck was I begun for."
    The end

  5. Haven't decided on anything yet, but I'm thinking like Dawn. If someone wants to have a spectacle they can because I won't be there!

  6. I do not want random people looking at my dead body...just the immediate family.
    I thought you could be buried in a mausoleum in MA?

    My hubby wants to be cremated but then I think I'm supposed to spread him around at the Moose Lodge and at the golf course.